Typical Evening, Monday 12/20/10

It feels as if I ought to do more, I ought to have something profound and long to say. After such a hefty hiatus without a post, after so much life has happened, after so much ground has been traversed, I find myself, in my heart, simple. I do not speak with grandeur, but my heart is charged with it.

Do this: turn life off. Stop the quickening pace, the ever onward rushing, doing. Admit that the world is a terrifying and overwhelming and choking place, that if you slow down long enough to think about the 'future' you are scared witless. Admit that you, quite frankly, suck at keeping all the loose strings of life's balloons gripped firmly in your sweaty palms. Those damn things just keep slipping up up and away, and, yeah it's fun to watch them go but you inevitably begin to think about how miserable it is once they disappear. There it goes, that was the fun. You now have one less balloon.

Stop all that. Find some quiet. Gather your teammates (you say at this point 'what? what are you talking about?'). Those who you can afford to be quiet with. Those who you laugh in front of, but moreover cry in front of. Those who could easily do without you, but choose not to anyways.

And then just sit. See what happens.

This is a post about that, and that is all. I am in the midst of this now, and I could not afford not to write about it. Because tomorrow will come (it always does) and I will be too busy to enjoy it (I always am). But for tonight, let me acknowledge the peace that comes with resting. Not sleeping, not rotting my mind in front of a movie. But rest. Letting my heart just be.

Confused yet? It's okay. You weren't here to rest your heart with me. So I understand. Buuuuuuuuut, you ought to try it anyways. As it goes:

"If you want to feel alive,

Then learn to love your ground."

This is my ground, and here I have my roots.